Junk Mail From Aliens

Terry Kelleher - 2001

Bright lights in the sky made me stop to look around.
It landed on my minivan, squashed it right down to the ground.
We swapped our insurance cards, they took down my address.
Thought I haven't seen the money, they send me letters none the less.

/ D - G D / - Bm Em7 A7 / D - G D / - Bm A7 D /

I get
Junk mail from aliens, they're selling cruises, such a deal.
Junk mail from aliens, they got knives to cut through steal.
Junk mail from aliens, the best prices near and far.
Junk mail from aliens, don't forget your Visa card.

/ G D A D / G D Em7 A7 / G D A D / G D A D /

They said it wouldn't take long, we'd just have a little chat.
A quick cruise 'round Jupiter, and then they'd bring me back.
But they got right to the point, as we were flying on past Mars.
They were selling time-share condos, at some far off, distant stars.

Junk mail from aliens, they got CDs, both folk and rock.
Junk mail from aliens, both Johan and Gordon Bok.
Junk mail from aliens, DVDs of every kind.
Junk mail from aliens, I got "Star War's", one through nine.

A green man asked, "Had I the time?", a simple survey, perhaps a test.
I went onboard their spaceship, they forced me to undress.
They put their alien space probes where the stars will never shine.
They're searching through the galaxy, a cure for hemorrhoids they must find.

Junk mail from aliens, they got savs to cure what ails.
Junk mail from aliens, creams to help your thinning hair.
Junk mail from aliens, that burn and itch they'll help to cure.
Junk mail from aliens, they put my picture on the tube.

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